Tip #2: The Bottle Prop

This technique is a classic, dating back to the origins of bottle feeding thousands of years ago. The Bottle Prop is a basic technique that any lazy parent must have in their bag of tricks. For the Bottle Prop all you need to do is, when bottle feeding your child, prop the bottle up on his/her chest so that the bottle is self-supported, leaving you free talk on the phone to your friends about how hard parenting is. Although simple, there are a few things you can do to maximize its effects, and help your child to doze off.

Step 1: You can use the Bottle Prop technique while the child is in your lap, but this is not recommended, as you will still be constrained to your seat even though your hands are free. For optimal results, place the child in his own bouncy seat, or best of all, a swing (preferably one that plays nice sleepy music).

Step 2: Once the child is comfortably positioned, take a receiving blanket, and place it on their chest. It is best to tuck the blanket under their chin to catch any formula/ breast milk drooly runoff. This also saves you from having to put on a bib. Next, place the bottle so it rests on the receiving blanket, and the nipple sits comfortably at the child’s mouth level. Ideally, the bottle should be placed at a 90 degree angle to the child’s mouth (pictured below). As you can see from the smile on my son’s face, kids love the Bottle Prop technique. It makes them feel self-sufficient and proud.

Step 3:Freedom! If the bottle is positioned well, it will stay firmly in place while you are free to do what you wish. Even if you just sit there watching your child, you don’t have to worry about your arm getting tired from holding that damn bottle forever. With the aid of sleepy music, your child will likely even fall asleep! Once your child is asleep, you can remove the bottle (safety first her at Lazy Parenting 101) from their mouth, and enjoy the freedom until he wakes up crying because you didn’t burp him.